Signs You’ve had too much of the 21st Century, Part II
15. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records
your College roommate used to play.
16. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken
noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
17. You checked your blow-dryer to see if it was Y2K
compliant.
18. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail in
Read the full story >>Signs You’ve had too much of the 21st Century, Part I
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach
your family of 4.
4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask
if they’re ready to go to lunch.
5. You chat on-line
Read the full story >>You Might Be a Yankee If…Part II
18) You don’t think Howard Stern has an accent.
19) You have never planned your summer vacation
around a gun*and*knife show.
20) You think more money should go to important
scientific research at your university than to pay
the salary of the head football coach.
21) You don’t have at least on
Read the full story >>You Might Be a Yankee If…Part I
1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to
cook outside.”
2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
3) You don’t have any problems pronouncing
“Worcestershire sauce”
correctly.
4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes
au gratin to grits.
5) You don’t know what a moon pie is.
6) You’ve never
Read the full story >>The Church Plaque
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed Little
Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that
hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-
old had been staring at the plaque for some time,
so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy,
and said quietly, “Good morning, son.”
“Good morning pastor
Read the full story >>Spelling Difficulties
The teacher says to her new class, “For our first
lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name,
what your father does, spell what your father does,
and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first.”
Billy stands up and says, “My name’s Billy. My
father’s a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and
Penny Scale
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales
that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped
in a coin.
“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her
a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright,
resourceful and a great lover.”
“Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight
wron
Kids’ Wise Words
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you,
“Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him.
- Michael, 14
3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.
- Michael, 14
4. Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9
5. Never pee on an el
Read the full story >>New Student
It was the first day of school and a new student,
the son of a Japanese businessman, entered
the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class
and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American
history.
Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me death?”
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that
Read the full story >>Pleasing?
When I was a child, I remember my Mom telling me, “Son, when
you grow up, you can marry any girl you please.”
When I became a young man, I learned the sad fact was that I
could not please any of them.
